They were just being friendly, but for me on those days, it was heaven sent.
Lesson #1: When GOD drops a person in your heart, contact them and pray for them. You never know what that will mean to that person at that point in time.
I did eventually realize of course, that grumbling never did anybody any good, and so I took my issues to papa GOD for serious analysis. I started off by complaining, then by asking, then by claiming - all legitimate forms of prayer by the way. Then, I having exhausted all other options, I finally came to the point where I was able to listen, and surrender. There is nothing on earth like getting to the point where you just let go. Where you wrestle, and then surrender. It cannot be taught, it cannot be preached, it has to be experienced to be understood. The weight literally just shifts off your shoulder, and you make your peace with GOD and HIS will.
Lesson #2: Surrender is not something you say, it is something you do, after you get to a point in prayer where you touch heaven. As the bible says:
Eph 4:6-7
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Note that the peace (aka surrender) only comes after some real quality time with GOD. I am not a drinker or a smoker, but I fully suspect that the release people get from those activities cannot be compared to the release found in effectual, fervent, heartfelt prayer. Nothing like it!!
After that experience, I got home, and was led to pick up a book I have owned, but have not read for probably 6 years: A.W Tozer's "The pursuit of GOD". I am normally a speed reader, and its a little book, so I could have zipped through it in 45 minutes. But having just been taught the lesson about listening, I started to digest it in little bits and pieces. The second chapter is sooooo goood! Arghhh! Just fabulous.
The title of the chapter that GOD so eloquently used to speak to me today? "The blessedness of possessing nothing". There is nothing in there that I do not understand in my head, or that I have not even taught about myself. But this time, it just bypassed the brain, headed straight for the heart and stayed there. What was the basic message of this brilliant chaper?
"The way to deeper knowledge of God is through the lonely valleys of soul-poverty and abnegation of all things. The blessed ones who possess the Kingdom are they who have repudiated every external thing and have rooted from their hearts all sense of possessing. They are “poor in spirit.” They have reached an inward state paralleling the outward circumstances of the common beggar in the streets of Jerusalem; that is what the word “poor” as Christ used it actually means. These blessed poor are no longer slaves to the tyranny of things. They have broken the yoke of the oppressor; and this they have done not by fighting but by surrendering. Though free from all sense of possessing,they yet possess all things. “Theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”Let me exhort you to take this seriously. It is not to be understood as mere Bible teaching to be stored away in the mind along with an inert mass of other doctrines. It is a marker on the road to greener pastures, a path chiseled against the steep sides of the mount of God. We dare not try to bypass it if we would follow on in this holy pursuit. We must ascend a step at a time. If we refuse one step we bring our progress to an end.
You can read the whole book here
Don't rush through it. Chew on it slowly. The language of the book is simple, but the message is heavy. After all these years (it was written in the 1940s), you can feel the anointing in the words, they go straight for the heart.
Anyways, for anybody out there who is going through, wrestle your way through the darkness, fight your way through the fire, and eventually you will get to the place of peace and surrender. This message is meant for somebody, I don't know who, but I tell you, it is well.
And for those of you who know who I am in real life - I am okay o. LOL! GOD and I just had to have a little talk. We have made our peace.
Ciao.