The Cougar Phenomenon

Hi peeps, Wassup?
Enjoying your Saturday? Sincerely hope so.

Alright, I know I promised to finish up my thoughts on my black history month post. I actually started writing something, but I am honestly not in the mood for something that serious. And what gives me the right to comment on black-white relations on America anyways? The ting wey dem neva resolve for over 200 years, na im I go come put my small mouth? Anyways, the bottomline on all my plenty talk is that I have decided to skip that topic for now. Perhaps I will revisit it someday. PERHAPS!!

Today though, something very different. Do you know what a cougar is? Nooooo, not the animal. The woman. Huh? Yeah, the woman - raaaaawrrrrrr!! Well, a cougar, if I have to tell you, is a woman who ends up with a much younger man - and Demi Moore is the poster child for this fascinating species. Ashton is what - about 20 years younger? Na wah o. And after Donald trump married some hot young Russian chick as his third wife, his first and now ex-wife Ivana also ended up with some hot young Italian stud as her new husband. Do I hear COUGAR? Yessss, now u begin to understand! LOLLLL!!

So is this just an worldly thing? How do we feel about things like this as christians and africans? Is there some rule that says that your boo must be older than you? Me, I was raised in very conservative circumstances, and I thought it was the rule o. Younger man ke? What? Noooooo!! LOLLL!! My first exposure to the whole concept was actually in the church I attend here. Lovely lady on the worship team married someone 9years her junior. Yeah - 9 years. The first time she introduced me to her fiance, all I could do was stare in astonishment. I didn't say nothing, but it boggled my JJC (johnny just come) mind.

So is it only oyinbo people that break all these boundaries? Noooo. Actually, there is a Nigerian movie entiltled FOR REAL that kind of deals with this issue, although in very extreme circumstances. Kalu Ikeagwu and Eucharia really impressed me in this one. I looove this movie. I may do a full review someday, but for now let's just say Kalu's character fell in love with his best friend's mother - much to the chagrin of pretty much everyone. And then sometimes, life imitates art. This one was a famous case in Naija . Check it out:





Gumbodi! Lol!! Open to the universe, bless me from any corner – my kind of gal!!






12.5 years difference!!! The first time I watched this, my mouth was open wide agape!! Omo, dat is love o. No other word for it. Queen, abeg, you get liver.




In a setting like America, where everyone over the age of 18 is equal in the eyes of the law and of society, it’s a little weird but workable. But in an African society, where we place so much premium on respect and everyone is Sister this, and Aunty that, I just wonder how the logistics work out. You know, extended family relationships, how would your friends address him, your younger siblings. I cannot even begin to imagine navigating all those potential minefields. Sooo, its safe to say that I am not sure that I could do something like that. One or two years younger is feasible, five years is stretching it. But 15? Holy Molly!! I never say never, but that love would have to be shacking me like 7 day old fermented pammy for me to even think of doing something like that. In addition, I would need to see a vision from the complete trinity!!



Now of course , if you ask me in theory, I would say – take love where ever you can find it, regardless of the package in which it comes – color, height, age, race, language, level of education, whatever. But I think everyone has limitations placed on them by culture and society, so I am not sure that I could ever cross the age line that drastically.However, I have to salute Queen Ure for being courageous enough to find love and take it regardless of what anyone thinks. Much respect Queen, much respect!



So ladies, you think you could be a couger? Submit to a much younger man? Respect him even if you had hit puberty before he was born? You would not be afraid that he would reach his prime when all your physical assets are drooping? Guys, do you think you have the courage to step up to someone much older than you? What is your limit? You think you can do what Soul E did? Or Kalu’s character in For Real? Is love enough, regardless of the package? Do you think it turns the scriptures about submission on its head?



EPILOGUE: I actually wrote most of this over a year ago - when I saw the movie and read about Soul E and Ure. I was actually very, very disappointed to hear that their marriage had crashed early this year. I was really, really, really rooting for them. Read the story here