Comedy + politics = Naija politicians

Hi peeps,
Sorry o, I am still buried under a deluge of papers. I see a light at the end of the tunnel sha, so please pray for this tired sista!! The rest of the series is still coming I promise. Just going through a phase right now.

However, I came across this on Nigeriavillagesquare (NVS), and thought to share.
The video below is one of our politicians. Listen to him, and figure out why the country is in the state it is in. Its funny and sad at the same time!!






The transcript of the big grammer is below. Its even funnier when you listen and read along:

Bosede: Welcome to NTA live from the national assembly… honorable Patrick Obahiagbon …also known as igodo migodo. You are welcome, sir.

Obahiagbon: The pleasure is mine, Bosede

Bosede: so, how are u today?

Obahiagbon: Very good. In a proper order. Very ready. Always ready for parliamentary work.

Bosede: I know you were at the Edo state house of assembly. So how has your experience in the state assembly prepared you for the challenges of the national assembly?

Obahiagbon: Fantastic. Don’t forget I did 8 years at the Edo state house of assembly and by the grace of the don apticate of the universe, that opportunity has assisted me colossally in dotting the parliamentary “I s” and crossing the legislative “T s” and has put me in good speed for the due discharge of my parliamentary onnus probandi ……, because when you examine the relationship between parliament at the state level and parliament at the national assembly, the difference, if any, is one of a twoodledum and twidlydim, little or no difference.

The only difference of course being that, whereas in the state house of assembly you only impact on a micro pedestal plane, at the national assembly, you are talking at a macro level. So if you ask me, there is a dialogical rapport between parliament at the state level and parliament at the national level. It is one of a micro cossum in a macro cossum.

So in a nutshell, I want to say that my experience in serving as a legislator for 8 years, and my experience when I was leader of the Edo state house of assembly for 4 years, put me certainly in good speed for this assignment at the national level.

Bosede: Is that why you have been a vibrant member of this national assembly as it were?

Obahiagbon: Partly yes. Partly yes. It is terra ferma for me and not terra incognita. It is familiar to me and once you were ceased of the muances of parliamentary discourse and discobolus it follows therefore that it will be familiar to you too, partly…but again, partly it is equally responsible…, for the fact that you cannot succeed as a parliamentarian if you are not cosmopolitan. You must be prepared to immerse yourself in societal dialectics for you to be able to contribute efficaciously in a utilitarian modus.

So, if you are a parliamentarian and you don’t go through the ritual of even reading newspapers, you don’t bathe yourself in the aqua of the political cross currents, then you are going to be deuced, you are going to be paralytic in your contributions. So yes, my experience in the state of assembly has been responsible for my vibrancy in one breathe. At another breathe, my desire to perpetually entrench myself in political, social and intellectual currents have equally contributed in its own stead.

Bosede: So in essence, what challenge are you giving to your other colleagues?

Obahiagbon: Sactas Simplicitas. They must avoid regular big stouting , suyaing , big stouting and peppersouping. Those are not the real issues. They must be prepared to immerse themselves in societal dialectics. They must put their nose to the grind stone. Chief Obafemi Awolowo the ikene philosopher said the difference between me and my other colleagues, was that when my other colleagues are cavorting in the dark alleys, I am in my library working myself 19 to the dozen.

You cannot succeed in life if you are not disciplined. You must be puritanical in your
predisposition, you must engage in an exercise of self purification and mortification, you must engage in an exercise of self abnegation, you must engage in an exercise of spiritual emulation. You must discipline the flesh. You must conquer the flesh. You must allow the spiritual aspect of you preponderate the material aspect, especially when you have been chosen to represent the people. So that at the end of the day, you can really say: vendi, vidi, vicki

Bosede: what is the meaning of that?

Obahiagbon: I came, I saw, I conquered.

Bosede: Sir,just like I told you that you are vibrant contributor to debates on the floor of the house at times does it really bother you whether the people get to understand what you say because of those big big grammar.

Obahiagbon: Well, let me say that I have been maniatally bewildered, in the words of Peter Pan, “overghasted and flabberwhelmed” when I am confronted by people as to what they stigmatize as my verbabodical dimosophy gyrations .But let me use this opportunity to say that I have never set out…, I don’t deliberately set out to confuse my audience. Certain you want me to be dumb, when I talk, they just come, misuse less packadoo . I bet you don’t give what you don’t have, what I have, I give.

Bosede: So what is your parting word to Nigerians?

Obahiagbon: My parting word to Nigerians is to be patient with the president of the country President, Umaru Musa Y’aradua. I appreciate that a lot of people at this time are becoming very critical in assessing the president because they believe that 8 months is enough to chart a visionary trajectory. I share those sentiments, but at the same time, let us not forget that the country was in a state of economical quagmaya, political fantasmagorie and social stupor at the time the president came on board. So I appeal to Nigerians to be a little bit patient with him.

But at the same time, I want to appeal to Mr. President to see the victory in the cause as a wake up challenge, for him to leave the position of recupensy into one of recusansy. 8 months, people should be able to say “this is the direction of Mr. President”. 8 months, people should be able to say “Mr. President’s stance for this”. There is a difference between amiability; there is a difference between decency and activism. The president must leave his position of political, and social and administrative lethargy and take the driver’s seat.

As Mr. President, he drives, and others follow. So whereas I appeal to Nigerians to be patient with him, I equally call on Mr. President to ascend the challenges of governance, and he cannot do that except he take the driver’s seat as the political do edger, the political emir of trans Jordan, and the political major dobo, the buck………

Enjoy!